Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Blog - Numero Dos

So the last couple of days my irritation level has just been going up and up and compounding. Usually if something irritates me, I'll fuss about for a bit and then move on. Like when drivers cut me off, steal my parking spot (Jerk at Rite Aid), get an unexpected bill in the mail, etc. But usually those annoyances are just here and there and I have time to recover in between them. This week is feels like they are bombarding me. In fact, I just got interrupted writing this blog to fight with my husband. I seriously have no more patience for all this. I go all day being irritated and then come home to my kids throwing tantrums because they can't do things they want, or don't want to do the things they are supposed to or eat the dinner I make. By bedtime I'm so tense it's no wonder I only average a few hours of sleep each night. Ugh! Calgon take me away.

So speaking of lack of sleep, I went to one of my doctors on Monday, to talk about my insomnia and fat ass. Wait, let me back track a moment here. Last June I read "Skinny Bitch" thinking that it'd be a funny diet book. I was trying to lose the last 10lbs of baby weight that I just couldn't seem to lose. Well that book will pretty much make anyone become a Vegan...including me. The day I read the meat section, I decided to never eat meat again, and I haven't since. The dairy thing is iffy with me. I do agree on all the reason not to eat any animal byproducts, but with my lifestyle it's just so hard to cut all dairy (especially since I hate soy, rice and almond milk). So anyway, I also made the commitment to buy whole and organic foods whenever possible. I read every label and I feel like I'm eating super healthy. So over the next 5 months I lost 15lbs...woohoo! I felt amazing! I could fit into my clothes again, people kept telling me how great I looked. I even maintained my weight through Christmas. Right around New Year's Ryan and I were really having troubles and I totally lost my appetite. The thought of eating made me want to gag. And that's when the weight gain began. How flippin' fair is that? I've gained the 15lbs back and I still can barely eat. When I do eat, I eat my healthy crap for the most part. So now back to seeing the Dr. He was saying that my body is starving and holding on to what little it gets. I don't get this because anorexics don't get fatter. So now not only does life suck right now, but I'm fat! The doctor told me that I need to speak to a dietitian and get a better diet. I told him the foods I do it and he told me I'm eating 90% crap. What? How is that? I think I'd be better off eating fast food 5 times a day then eating healthy twice a day. He said I need to exercise...duh? So I'm super tired because I don't sleep, I have no energy because I don't eat and now I'm supposed to start exercising....yah, I see that happening. Not to mention it's getting freakin' hot so any free exercise I can get like bike riding and walking would be really torturous. Wow, can I whine or what? Just venting...okay and complaining very! ok, i better go before this gets so long you stop reading.



Amy said...

So what did your dr. say was the 90% crap in your diet? It's funny how often I disagree with what my dr. says! If she only knew what I ate, which I consider very healthy! We completely changed the way we eat about 5 years ago . . . organic, whole foods like you said, but also actually an increase in fats (including animals fats), meat, and raw dairy products. It's made SUCH a difference!