Nobody reads this

nobody reads this, reads this, reads this...nobody reads this, not they don't ! ;)

Kid's Birthday Party

For a planner, I wasn't planning very well when I had my kids 3 weeks apart. Kendall's birthday is in September and Joey's in October. The first year we obviously wanted to keep them separate. She would need her special 1st birthday party and Joey would need something special as well since this was the first time he had to deal with a birthday before his own. We figured it might be tough on him. At the age of 4 he wouldn't understand why she gets to have her birthday first. So we did an over the top carnival party for his 4th birthday. The next year I convinced Joey to let Kendall share a party with him. What theme do you do for a boy and a girl? Monkeys! since they are ones!. The worked out great! Well for her 3rd birthday I decided a low key princess party would work nicely. About 5 girls came over dressed up and it was nice to have such a small gathering. We did the big family BBQ thing for Joey's that year. Two parties is still a lot to deal with in such a short span. Last year I tried to talk them into a joint party again...but they were both adamant about separate ones. For the first time ever, I gave up some control and offered them the option to hold their party outside of the house. Kendall did not want to, but Joey did. he chose gymnastics. It was heaven to not have to clean my house before and after his party. I loved that party! So this year, I nudged them both in the direction of a joint, outside the house party. They agreed on Bowling...yes, that wasn't too hard! Bowling was also the least expensive of the choices I gave them. Unfortunately Joey only had one friend show up and Kendall had two and cousin Kaylie also came. So it was a pretty quiet and I must say well behaved group of 6 kids. They had a blast. most had never bowled before, including Kendall. You just gotta love bumpers. I grew up in a bowling family and way back when I was there age, they didn't have light balls, or small sized shoes or bumpers...what a change of an experience I could have had. I also always make the cake...I pride myself in a themed cake. I'm not good at it, but I want to do it anyhow. This year I was going to do bowling ball looking cupcakes. The night before I was sick and the thought of one more task was daunting. I begrudgingly took the kids to the store and let them pick out a store bought cake...this was very hard for me. At first I thought it was going to be very hard for them to agree on a cake...Kendall wanted the one with flowers...of course that wasn't Joey's style...he wanted the super, all chocolate one. Once we told him the flower cake was chocolate, he agreed....too easy! So I hope next year's party (and I say that singular)...will go just as well :)

What's New?

Well I'm so not motivated to work today...well, I guess I haven't been for a while now. I feel bad...I shouldn't slack so much. I mean I get done what needs to be done...but I could be doing more. Today, I feel like crap...again...what's new? Sore throat, barfy, headache...wha wha, whoa is me :)
So right now I'm in the midst of getting my house ready for sale...it is going VERY slow...I still don't even have one room completely painted. My goal was to have it on the market today...ha, not gonna happen. I hate that I was sick this weekend...cause I had a whole day yesterday that I could have devoted to packing/painting/etc. I severely needed to do laundry too...I hate getting behind! and now I'm behind on top of being behind... frown! Oh well, I keep telling myself...just plug away...don't look at the big picture.
I leave a week from today to go to Wisconsin again. Why can't we have plants in Florida or New York...or somewhere more exciting? Not that I get to see anything besides the airport, hotel and plant anyway. So this trip is for more training. For Food Safety Audits. I know you are super jealous that I get to go to Wisconsin and learn about Audits...it just doesn't get more exciting than that! The next training will take me to either Texas of San Diego...so that's a little more exciting. I'm going to be gone between 3-4 days...makes for a long week. It basically takes a day to get there with the time change. I am excited to meet some people that I talk to and email and never have met. It's nice to put a face with a name. So far I've been pretty off with the pictures I have come up with in my mind of what I think they will look like.
So that is pretty much what's new!

I've neglected the blog! I've had a lot to say and share...but didn't know where to start or where to get the motivation. The last 3 years have been a very hard struggle in many ways...mentally, physically, emotionally...etc. I am thankful that at the start of it all I felt God's presence. I felt him say this is supposed to be happening and you will come out a happier, stronger person. I thought I knew exactly what God meant. I'm still a little confused about the way things seem to be heading...it's not what I thought he was showing me. But then, as humans, we have free will...and at some point the vision I had was blurred...by my actions? outside force? I don't know...but what I do know is that during this time, my relationship with God has grown stronger and more fruitful. I've learned tons about myself. I know that eventually I will regain the parts of me I have lost.
I'm in overwhelmed mode right now. This summer we had all decided to move away...out of state. So we started to pack up non-essentials, purge, paint. We started off gung-ho but the motivation quickly faded. I saw life going in the wrong direction...I saw that as much as I wanted to steer in one direction, that was not the way we were heading. Tons of praying, thinking, planning...let to very difficult decisions. The outcome of these decisions have left me still moving (although just here in town), still packing, purging and painting...except now I'm doing it by myself....no pity needed (although I'll take a little...lol). I feel like if I could stop time or take a week off, I could get caught up...but I can't...and as hard as I work at it, I'm just not close. This frustrates me to no end...cause I know I can do it...or I think I can. Anyway, I just want to be settled...not be a month behind on EVERYTHING. I want to have time to do things I like to do. Seems like my weekends consist of chores and kids activities. I don't mine either...but all the time...is wearing. I have so many things I want to do. I have a secret project that I want to finish, of course scrapbooking (I'm years behind), take dance classes, workout, go out with friends, start making Christmas gifts and cards....so many things. I know the time will come...and when it does, I pray I have regained my health and can actually take advantage of the opportunity. No matter what I know that I'm seriously blessed with what I do have. Sometimes I can't believe how well my life has turned out even with all the crap. I mean how can I complain when I have food to eat everyday, a house...with a bed, 2 healthy and amazing children...a great job with the best boss in the world...I could go on. I'm tired, I hurt, but most of all I am happy with me. I don't think a lot of people get to say that. I think I'm very lucky to be in that place with myself...could be the 10 years of therapy...hmmmm .... lol :)

Saturday night I heard this loud crash. It sounded like a car crashed right into my house. I was home alone of course. I was scared to look out the window. I opened the door and I couldn't see anything. I did notice that Ryan's white Bug seemed to only be showing a little...hmm strange. I searched for a flashlight and shined it on the car....yep a huge branch fell on it. Now when I say huge branch...I mean the branch is the size of a tree. I didn't really know the extent of it until the next morning when I could see it in the day light. I walked it around it and I could barely see through the branches to the car. I could see that the windshield was shattered and there was a big dent in the roof. I didn't get to talk to Ryan for 2 days after it happened (he was camping on the coast). I had to leave town for business before he got back...so I didn't get to see his reaction to the scene once he saw it. When I got back the Insurance guy was here...at least the tree was not on our property. The boys have been chopping at it now to clear away the car.

Minnesooo tah!

So I just spent 4 days in Minnesota. Flew out Tuesday from Sacramento. I drove from Redding to Sac with my sis and boss. He was glad to be the one not driving for once and he actually got to return some emails. We boarded our plane and then sat there, half hour passes, an hour passes, two hours pass...then they get the okay to take off...ugh! By now, I'm hungry..cause it's way past lunch. 3 hours later we arrive in Minneapolis. Check in at the Double Tree and gladly accept our warm chocolate chip cookies. We meet 3 of our Illinois co-workers and head out to dinner. I was starving now...It was 8 o'clock their time. We walked 2 or 3 blocks to an Italian restaurant. It was so yummy. We talked forever...I seriously thought I was going to fall asleep. At one point my Il. boss asked if we had any questions... I said, "can we got to bed now?" My sarcasm did not produce the response i was hoping for as our conversation lasted another eon. We got back to the hotel and it is now like 11pm. I fight to get my computer online...I've really got to get the wireless on my laptop fixed...what a big pain in the butt to not have that. Then I crashed in bed for the night...I love the Double Tree and there 5 pillows and down comforters. The weather there was perfect! Had to meet the team at 7am for a quick breakfast and then on to Target headquarters at 7:30am. Thank goodness their office was right across the street. About an hour into the meeting I seriously thought I was going to fall asleep. I didn't get enough sleep and I was all messed up with the two hour loss. But I made it til lunch. Lunch was a boxed lunch...but our Ill. boss suggested we try out the employee cafeteria. Holy Cow! It was HUGE and looked like a mall food court. You could seriously get any kind of food there (pizza, hamburgers, sandwiches, salad,and on and on). It was really good! The rest of the day was filled with 40 minute meetings with Target and just our company. Apparently they Love us! They think we do a wonderful job...this makes me feel very proud since I actually had a part in that. It's funny that 2nd largest retailer of that type loved us that much...that they even knew who this little company I work for is. I left with tons of knowledge and finding that I will most likely be making two more business trips soon somewhere in the US. I need to become FDA Label certified and GFSI Practitioner certified (doesn't that sound muy exciting?!)...but will make for a nice change from everyday life. Right after the meeting my boss had to jet to the airport to catch a flight back to Sac, where his wife picked him up and then they flew to Hawaii...um...yep...jealous! The rest of our crew met with our broker for dinner. I had one martini...I swear it was just pure alcohol...wow! We got back to the hotel and I was conked out by 8:30. Another early morning, getting ready to meet Amy (one of our Illinois co-workers) for breakfast and then taxi ride to the MALL OF AMERICA (insert the sound of singing angels here). BTW, a 20 minute cab right is $40...thankfully my job paid for it. We arrived at the mall with a few minute of wait time before it opened. We had to hit Archiver's first (that is a huge scrapbook store in case you didn't know). We wanted to see how much we would spend there first so we would know how much to budget for the rest of the mall (wouldn't be so nice to not have to shop on a budget?). My sis tells Amy we will be about a half an hour if she wants to shop somewhere else...poor Amy...we were in there for 2 hours....and I thought I was going through there fast. I spent about twice as much as I wanted to...oh well....it was vacation at this point and you know that calories and spending don't count when you are on vacation. Luckily I really didn't buy much the rest of the time...although we saw lots of neat things...I kept thinking..."do i really need that?" and the answer was no the majority of the time. I had fun buying stuff for Kendall's birthday at the Disney store...got her the cutest Hannah Montana costume for more than 50% off. I could have dropped serious money in that store for her...but I was good. We had to say goodbye to Amy around 2pm as she had to drive back to Chicago with the rest of the Ill. crew. I loved hanging out with her...it's funny how you talk on the phone with someone all the time and you've never met them...it's nice to have faces with names and voices now. Vicki and I then went and checked out Nickelodeon Universe (the theme park in the middle of the mall). It was impressive! A lot of the rides were insane though...they looked scarier then most of the rides I have seen. You'd think a Nickelodeon amusement park would be more low key than that. We met Dora and Sponge Bob & Patrick....so bummed I didn'thave my kids with me. We went to an all Sponge Bob store...I wanted to buy my kids everything! But I settled for some neat cups and personalized spongebob dog tag necklaces. I was excited to find one that said "joey"...they usually say Joe or Joseph. Of course they didn't have Kendall...but they had Princess...so that worked...they loved them and are still wearing them and drinking from the cups. I also could have spent a fortune on Kendall in the Hello Kitty store and a fortune on Joey in the Lego store. The Lego store was incredible...cause it wasn't inside a normal store. It was out in the open and it was inside of a Lego structure, with Dinosaurs made out of Legos along one side. I wish Joey could have seen it...I took lots of pictures for him and when he saw them he pretended to faint. The mall is 4 stories tall and is like a mile long. ...and yes we trekked the majority of the first 3 floors (the 4th floor is the sit down restaurants I guess). There was all sorts of speciality stores in there: Tap out (UFC), all socks, all swimsuits, all magnets, all flipflops, QVC, all personalized....lots of fun stuff. By about 4/5 o'clock my feet hurt soooo bad. We found the sketchers store and I bought a pair of squishy flip flops...that did help...however, my feet have never hurt sooo bad before by the end of the night. We saw the NASCAR simulator place and I thought...hmmm, Vicki needs to do this..aka...I can sit and let my feet rest. Here's a big surprise...she drove car 24! We literally shopped until we dropped! The stores close around 9 and the last shuttle to our hotel was leaving at 9:50. So close to 9 Vicki finally let me eat and at a sit down restaurant. We had to chow down super fast as we were on the opposite side of the mall as we needed to be for the shuttle. Oh BTW, when Amy left we walked her out and found lockers...we so needed them as our scrapbook stuff had to weigh like 20lbs. Thank GOD for those lockers. We got to our shuttle with time to spare. We trekked the LOOONG route to our hotel room (they put us on the opposite side from the front of the hotel). With the weight of our bags, the pain in my feet and legs, and the fatigue from the day; i thought I'd never make it to the room...then we were like..."which room are we in again?" I guessed right. We were right about the inground pool, so we decided to hit the hot tub to relax our sore bodies. We planted our feet next to the jets and tried to relax. It was after midnight by the time I got to bed. We had to be in the hotel lobby at 7:30 the next morning to catch our shuttle to the airport....TOO EARLY...my body (especially my feet and legs) hurt so bad and our bags were double heavy now too. Walking through the airport was torture! At least this time our flight left after we bored. I was too excited to drive 2+ hours back home once we landed in Sac. Well just writing about this trip has exhausted me. I'm looking forward to relaxing the rest of tonight and tomorrow before I go back to the chaos of work Monday morning...a week gone will equal LOTS of work to be done.

I have just been so moved. Dancing is an amazing gift. When I dance; my heart pours out. It feels so wonderful to express myself through movement. I don't dance enough! I miss it terribly! Today, I watched this dance from the show, "So you think you can dance" I had to share it...so amazing... you can feel thier emotions. The dance is about long time friends who want each other, but it's not the right time. Please watch and be amazed: (the song is "If it kills me" by Jason Mraz..I'll post the lyrics after the video)



Are you moved?

Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
Cause you and I
Why, we go carrying on for hours, on and
We get along much better
Than you and your boyfriend

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

Well how long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn't healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all

Baby there's a lot that I miss
In case I'm wrong

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

If I should be so bold
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said a word
I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
I think it might kill me

And all I really want from you is to feel me
It's a feeling inside that keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
It might kill me


I can't stop thinking about dances I've seen that I have just loved...so I am added links to some more.
She has just found out she is expecting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGF78f4UOjk

I believe this is a about a husband who keeps leaving on "business trips"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWoqeF331-s

He is going off to war
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_zftfeD2cU