I have just been so moved. Dancing is an amazing gift. When I dance; my heart pours out. It feels so wonderful to express myself through movement. I don't dance enough! I miss it terribly! Today, I watched this dance from the show, "So you think you can dance" I had to share it...so amazing... you can feel thier emotions. The dance is about long time friends who want each other, but it's not the right time. Please watch and be amazed: (the song is "If it kills me" by Jason Mraz..I'll post the lyrics after the video)



Are you moved?

Hello, tell me you know
Yeah, you figured me out
Something gave it away
And it would be such a beautiful moment
To see the look on your face
To know that I know that you know now

And baby that's a case of my wishful thinking
You know nothing
Cause you and I
Why, we go carrying on for hours, on and
We get along much better
Than you and your boyfriend

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

Well how long, can I go on like this,
Wishing to kiss you,
Before I rightly explode?
This double life I lead isn't healthy for me
In fact it makes me nervous
If I get caught I could be risking it all

Baby there's a lot that I miss
In case I'm wrong

Well all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me

If I should be so bold
I'd ask you to hold my heart in your hand
Tell you from the start how I've longed to be your man
But I never said a word
I guess I'm gonna miss my chance again

All I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can't say it after all we've been through
And all I really want from you is to feel me
As the feeling inside keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
I think it might kill me

And all I really want from you is to feel me
It's a feeling inside that keeps building
And I will find a way to you if it kills me
If it kills me
If it kills me
It might kill me


I can't stop thinking about dances I've seen that I have just loved...so I am added links to some more.
She has just found out she is expecting
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGF78f4UOjk

I believe this is a about a husband who keeps leaving on "business trips"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CWoqeF331-s

He is going off to war
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_zftfeD2cU

This and That

Life seems so crazy right now but peaceful. How can that be? My family and I are going through so many changes...scary changes that I'm not that scared about. Besides the advenures of my gymnastic days of flipping off anything I could find, I'm not advernturous. I like safety, what I k now and total control. I don't like the feeling of roller coasters, I have no desire to bungee jump and I don't even like to drive fast. But I need an adventure...I need some excitement after such a dark past few years. I'm sad to leave some behind, but I'm not worried that they will be just fine without me. Plus it will give them a reason to go on a trip to visit (hint). I'm hoping that between now and then I learn the skill to talk less and listen more, to not be such an open book, and be more go with the flow. That's a tall order...but I'm gonna try.

I want to thank those who have given me hope...sparked feeling back into me...rallied for me to get back to living. Thank you to all my online buddies...I love chatting with you...it's so freeing...and I feel tons of support that way...I hope to see you all and not just be cyber buddies...Some of you were my best friends at once (so many fun times)...how'd I'd love to relive those times!

Mostly I'm thankful for this darn computer...I love that I can google anything I have a question about, shop, chat, play, keep in touch, do business, bank...seriously an amazing invention. I always think of the scene from "Blast from the Past" when the guy says he'll check something on his computer and Brendon Frazier says, "you have a computer? in your house?" Imagine what they thought in the 50's...no wonder our elders don't understand us...I remember having to go to the library to research papers for school. Funny!

-out-

The Next Survivor Series

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.

He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning,
feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink,
favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if...he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

*I did not write this, but found it very funny! To my male readers, I'm sure this does not pertain to you of course!

20 years ago...

....dang...how am I even old enough to say that?
I don't remember who I was talking to, but just the other day I was having the "high school dork" conversation with someone. My name is Lisa and I was a Dork in high school...okay, who are we kidding? I'm still a DORK!
So this blog is for those who didn't know me in high school.
I'm 14, 4'8" maybe around 75lbs and it's my time to start high school. I'm about a size 10/12 in the kids section. Redding had't quite gotten around to carrying size 0's or 1's in the junior's section yet. So I'm stuck in the kids section. Jeans are super uncomfortable for some reason....so stretch pants are all I can wear. So I'm a kid's clothes, stretch pants wearing dork...lol! I still don't need a bra (sorry male readers). I'm a 14 year old in a 9 year old body. And for reasons, I have yet to understand, I felt a need to wear a matching bow clip in my hair with every outfit. I also had a need to match, match and then match some more. I just broke out in the cold sweats at the memory of these outfits! okay, to paint the picture for you I must describe the outfit I wore on my first day of high school.
Cotton knit white shirt with navy blue polka dots (large ones). On top of the shoulders the shirt laced with navy blue ribbon (I know...and I haven't barely gotten started describing). The skirt was also knit. The first layer (yes, I said layer) was the same white with navy blue polka dots (remember...it has to match), the next layer....navy blue with white polka dots, and the third, white with blue polka dots again. Awww how cute!...but wait, there's more! There was white bicycle shorts (well that's what we called them back then) with white lace trim (this is so you didn't show any goodies to the boys). And just in case i still wasn't dorky enough I also wored navy blue lace tights....and.... a matching bow in my hair. I feel a tightness in my chest recalling this look. This wasn't an abnormal look for me either. The knit outfits were frequent...pattern on pattern....bow on head.
And somehow my husband fell in love with that.
This is the part where I would post a picture...but these pictures have mysteriously disappeared....lol!

Song of the Day

I played this song 3 times on the way into work today. I wouln't normally use the term "Bitch" to describe myself, however, when this song comes on it feels like my theme song:

.....I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one
Im a bitch, Im a lover, Im a child, Im a mother
Im a sinner, Im a saint, I do not feel ashamed
Im your hell, Im you dream, Im nothing in between
.....So take me as I am....and dont try to save me.....
when youre hurt, when you suffer
Im your angel undercover
Ive been numb, Im revived,Cant say Im not alive
You know I wouldnt want it any other way

Click it, then turn it up!!! http://www.jango.com/music/Meredith+Brooks?l=0

Embrace your Bitch today....LOL! BTW, Bitch just means standing up for yourself, knowing who you are and not taking crap....I believe men are described as strong and confident when doing the same thing.

For my stampers!!!

Here is a sneak peak at the new catty: Click to see full size image :)

New Chapter

Today a new chapter starts. The last 3 years have brought many changes to my family's lives. We have been in the unknown for a long time. We have struggled physically and emotionally and had many ups and downs. Today was the day. The day that something had to change. A new adventure. Some ideas have been thrown out there, one that has me excited, but only God knows. Whatever direction we're taken in will take us out of our comfort zone. It will require faith in God, strength and perseverance. God has been amazing to me...enveloped me with his compassion...made me realize that putting my life in his hands makes this life worth it. My life could have gone another way, a path that I would wish I never took. But after a life of struggling to give up control...I finally did. I found that letting Go and letting God is an amazing gift. I've unfortunately lost a lot of loved ones on this journey, a causality that I do not take lightly, for reasons I may never know. But I know God has something glorious waiting for me. He will reward my genuine heart, my desire to serve others and my passion to live a life worthy to be known as one of his children.

God,
I pray that you will lead me to a place where I can feel accepted and loved. A place that will bind my family in your strength. I pray that someday I will understand the trials I have been through and the reasons that I was not wanted by this place. I pray that you will give peace to those I love, who hurt so much. I pray you give them wisdom through their struggles and a bright light to lead them in your direction. You're an Amazing God and all who feel your presence are blessed. To you I am thankful and to you I praise. May I honor your name in my faithfulness.
Amen!

Psalm 86:15
But you, O Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.