New Year's Resolution....

Blog more...why, I dunno. I have so much to say, not sure why I don't blog more. I lay in bed at night and write great blogs in my head....but then the day comes and I get busy or when I go to write the amazing blog from the night before I can't remember any of the wit that I thought would be good. I suppose if I get in the habit. Habits is the subject for the rest of the blog.

We all have habits....more bad than good too I bet.
I tend to focus on breaking the bad ones instead of instilling good ones.
I want so badly to have some great GOOD habits.
Some are so simple like take my vitamins daily, put old lady lotion on my face to stay looking young, drink more water.
Then there are the harder ones like, exercise, prepare my lunches, and keep my car clean. Seeing them in written word seems silly when i say they are hard. I like to exercise. I LOVE to dance...would take dance classes every day. I like going to the gym and riding the bike while I read and then using the machines. But I can't afford the gym or dance and even if I could, I feel too tired and wore out. Yes, exercise would help...it all makes sense. There is pretty much only benefits from exercising, yet I don't do it...ugh!

I also have terrible eating habits. I LOVE to eat healthy...yah terrible right? well, the problem is I hate to cook and how many fast, easy Healthy choices are there? not a lot. So I end up not eating. Then by the evening I'm starving and I have most of my food choices at home so I eat a bunch. I don't think I go over calories, but I go long periods of time that my body gets all confused. I also wasn't sleeping much and the combo was bad for my metabolism. I need to get back on track. Just need to start that good habit and then keep it going. My big goal is to make my lunches for the week on Sunday along with a meal plan. Bummer part is I am on a major budget restraint so I'm not able to buy the foods that are healthier, and since I'm a vegetarian it gets even tougher. So I'm still fumbling my way through being a single mom and the one that cooks (Ryan used to be the cook).

Lastly, why the heck can't I keep my car clean? 5 things go in and only 3 come out....4 more in and 3 more out and after a week that equals MESSY car. With my kids it is 7 things in 2 things out....know what I mean?

I'm going to tackle these one at a time and slowly. Because when I try too fast and too much it results in FAILURE....and I'm done with that :)

...it's Fall!

Everyday I have something to blog about, but I get so busy, I don't. I write my blog everynight in my head as I try to fall asleep. So many things on my mind. Things I want to share.

Ryan and I still have not come up with a custody agreement...so we are just playing it by ear right now. He hasn't had them since Halloween. He has requested to have them next week. It makes sense. They don't have school and I work. He doesn't work and neither does his mom...so together they can entertain the kids. I imagine my nephew you will also be off from school, so playing with him will be fun for the kids as well.
I'm not a big fan of Thanksgiving. Mostly because I come from such a small family that when we have family get togethers its with the people I see almost on a daily basis. It also doesn't help that I am a vegetarian and that leaves me a meal of green beans and mashed potatoes. For some reason the other night after Ryan and I finalized plans, I laid in bed and it hit me that I was going to be w/o my kids on a holiday. I don't even care abou t the holiday...but it just felt weird. I cannot celebrate Thanksgiving this year. Not that I"m not thankful...because I'm extremely thankful for so many things. Ironically my children are native americans...so I suppose it's their holiday r ight? Anyway, I'm going to take a day to myself I guess (unless anyone wants to come over and kee p me company....movies & wine???)
On another note, I would love to become a photographer one day. Family, kids and babies. I have done a couple of photoshoots with my friend and I've been happy with what I have done so far. I'm still not up to caliber...and I hope with pra ctice I will be. Mostly I take a good image...it's j ust not exposed properly...and thankfully I'm pretty decent in photoshop which fixes all that. But I'd like to get it right w/o photoshopping. So I decided that since next week I'm free and it's close to family pictures time for Christmas cards, I'd offer in invitation to you to help us both.

So I'm offering to you a 1hr sessi

on on location (probably at Caldwell Park), 2 Photo Christmas card designs and a CD with Images from the shoot (photoshop touchup included) for $30. Let me know if you are interested :)

....and Happy Thanksgiving!

Some samples below :)

to blog or not to blog...

I'm feeling the need to blog. Hmmm, about what? Dunno! Well let's see what random thoughts escape my mind. This weekend..pack up kids' bedroom (maybe put primer on the walls), sell stuff (shhh, some will be kids toys). Christmas cards? What? already...yep. I know I'll get behind if I don't...really we all know it's sneaky up on us. Christmas? hmmm...what should I get my kids? Thinking that the son's request for Heely's may finally come true. He's been asking for 2 years...his poor feet have been too small. Kendall...hmmm, hate to get her more toys...girl has a million My little ponies and Barbies.....and dress up and games....hmmm. Do you think she'd like ??? damn, can't think....what do you think a 5 year old girl might "need"...lol, like they need anything...maybe chocolate chip pancakes.
Halloween...Love it!
Thanksgiving...vegitarian...lame!
Christmas...hmmm, well like to watch my kids
Birthday...Jaunary...make me feel special
February...Valentine's day...hmmm, no one seems to want to celebrate that with me (maybe this year?)
and then.....headed towards summer again...wow, time flies!

okay...see ya (will I?...hear yah?...maybe just read ya)....comment me..please ;)

Nobody reads this

nobody reads this, reads this, reads this...nobody reads this, not they don't ! ;)

Kid's Birthday Party

For a planner, I wasn't planning very well when I had my kids 3 weeks apart. Kendall's birthday is in September and Joey's in October. The first year we obviously wanted to keep them separate. She would need her special 1st birthday party and Joey would need something special as well since this was the first time he had to deal with a birthday before his own. We figured it might be tough on him. At the age of 4 he wouldn't understand why she gets to have her birthday first. So we did an over the top carnival party for his 4th birthday. The next year I convinced Joey to let Kendall share a party with him. What theme do you do for a boy and a girl? Monkeys! since they are ones!. The worked out great! Well for her 3rd birthday I decided a low key princess party would work nicely. About 5 girls came over dressed up and it was nice to have such a small gathering. We did the big family BBQ thing for Joey's that year. Two parties is still a lot to deal with in such a short span. Last year I tried to talk them into a joint party again...but they were both adamant about separate ones. For the first time ever, I gave up some control and offered them the option to hold their party outside of the house. Kendall did not want to, but Joey did. he chose gymnastics. It was heaven to not have to clean my house before and after his party. I loved that party! So this year, I nudged them both in the direction of a joint, outside the house party. They agreed on Bowling...yes, that wasn't too hard! Bowling was also the least expensive of the choices I gave them. Unfortunately Joey only had one friend show up and Kendall had two and cousin Kaylie also came. So it was a pretty quiet and I must say well behaved group of 6 kids. They had a blast. most had never bowled before, including Kendall. You just gotta love bumpers. I grew up in a bowling family and way back when I was there age, they didn't have light balls, or small sized shoes or bumpers...what a change of an experience I could have had. I also always make the cake...I pride myself in a themed cake. I'm not good at it, but I want to do it anyhow. This year I was going to do bowling ball looking cupcakes. The night before I was sick and the thought of one more task was daunting. I begrudgingly took the kids to the store and let them pick out a store bought cake...this was very hard for me. At first I thought it was going to be very hard for them to agree on a cake...Kendall wanted the one with flowers...of course that wasn't Joey's style...he wanted the super, all chocolate one. Once we told him the flower cake was chocolate, he agreed....too easy! So I hope next year's party (and I say that singular)...will go just as well :)

What's New?

Well I'm so not motivated to work today...well, I guess I haven't been for a while now. I feel bad...I shouldn't slack so much. I mean I get done what needs to be done...but I could be doing more. Today, I feel like crap...again...what's new? Sore throat, barfy, headache...wha wha, whoa is me :)
So right now I'm in the midst of getting my house ready for sale...it is going VERY slow...I still don't even have one room completely painted. My goal was to have it on the market today...ha, not gonna happen. I hate that I was sick this weekend...cause I had a whole day yesterday that I could have devoted to packing/painting/etc. I severely needed to do laundry too...I hate getting behind! and now I'm behind on top of being behind... frown! Oh well, I keep telling myself...just plug away...don't look at the big picture.
I leave a week from today to go to Wisconsin again. Why can't we have plants in Florida or New York...or somewhere more exciting? Not that I get to see anything besides the airport, hotel and plant anyway. So this trip is for more training. For Food Safety Audits. I know you are super jealous that I get to go to Wisconsin and learn about Audits...it just doesn't get more exciting than that! The next training will take me to either Texas of San Diego...so that's a little more exciting. I'm going to be gone between 3-4 days...makes for a long week. It basically takes a day to get there with the time change. I am excited to meet some people that I talk to and email and never have met. It's nice to put a face with a name. So far I've been pretty off with the pictures I have come up with in my mind of what I think they will look like.
So that is pretty much what's new!

I've neglected the blog! I've had a lot to say and share...but didn't know where to start or where to get the motivation. The last 3 years have been a very hard struggle in many ways...mentally, physically, emotionally...etc. I am thankful that at the start of it all I felt God's presence. I felt him say this is supposed to be happening and you will come out a happier, stronger person. I thought I knew exactly what God meant. I'm still a little confused about the way things seem to be heading...it's not what I thought he was showing me. But then, as humans, we have free will...and at some point the vision I had was blurred...by my actions? outside force? I don't know...but what I do know is that during this time, my relationship with God has grown stronger and more fruitful. I've learned tons about myself. I know that eventually I will regain the parts of me I have lost.
I'm in overwhelmed mode right now. This summer we had all decided to move away...out of state. So we started to pack up non-essentials, purge, paint. We started off gung-ho but the motivation quickly faded. I saw life going in the wrong direction...I saw that as much as I wanted to steer in one direction, that was not the way we were heading. Tons of praying, thinking, planning...let to very difficult decisions. The outcome of these decisions have left me still moving (although just here in town), still packing, purging and painting...except now I'm doing it by myself....no pity needed (although I'll take a little...lol). I feel like if I could stop time or take a week off, I could get caught up...but I can't...and as hard as I work at it, I'm just not close. This frustrates me to no end...cause I know I can do it...or I think I can. Anyway, I just want to be settled...not be a month behind on EVERYTHING. I want to have time to do things I like to do. Seems like my weekends consist of chores and kids activities. I don't mine either...but all the time...is wearing. I have so many things I want to do. I have a secret project that I want to finish, of course scrapbooking (I'm years behind), take dance classes, workout, go out with friends, start making Christmas gifts and cards....so many things. I know the time will come...and when it does, I pray I have regained my health and can actually take advantage of the opportunity. No matter what I know that I'm seriously blessed with what I do have. Sometimes I can't believe how well my life has turned out even with all the crap. I mean how can I complain when I have food to eat everyday, a house...with a bed, 2 healthy and amazing children...a great job with the best boss in the world...I could go on. I'm tired, I hurt, but most of all I am happy with me. I don't think a lot of people get to say that. I think I'm very lucky to be in that place with myself...could be the 10 years of therapy...hmmmm .... lol :)